This is not a place of judgement.
This is a place for me to store my thoughts, you can follow along if you'd like.
Do you know what it's like when what you thought you wanted your whole life, really isn't what you want after all? No? Well then, I'm glad you know what you want. If you do know what that's like, you can relate to my story..
This is a place for me to store my thoughts, you can follow along if you'd like.
Do you know what it's like when what you thought you wanted your whole life, really isn't what you want after all? No? Well then, I'm glad you know what you want. If you do know what that's like, you can relate to my story..
Lets start with telling you what I thought I wanted.. I wanted a guy who was a virgin, to marry him and to stay with him forever so that he and I would have only 'been' with each other.. I wanted a guy who was outgoing, the opposite of me, so that if I felt shy around a crowd he could tell and take the attention off of me. I wanted a guy that doesn't smoke, a guy my age (I'm 20) a guy with tattoos, glasses, plays games and is always sweet to me.
1. A - A is all of that minus the tattoos.. as of March 21st 2013 we've been together for 2 years. For about a year and a half he was what I wanted and I was happy with it.. but lately he's just not what I want anymore, he hasn't changed one bit.. but maybe I have, and I can't get up the courage to tell him how I feel. We are a long distance relationship.. We saw each other for the first time in December 2012 for two weeks. He was very excited and happy. As for me, when I got off the plane and saw him I didn't feel what I expected to feel. I expected my heart to drop, to run up to him and squeeze him.. As one would do when you see the one you 'love' after almost 2 years.. but what did I feel? Not a thing.. What did I do? I walked slowly to him, gave him a hug and a small kiss. I feel bad for saying this but I honestly could not wait for that two weeks to be over and just go home...
2. B - B, oh B.. I met B in July of 2012 and he gave me the happiest 2 days of my life that I will never forget. I will probably never see him again sadly. I met him at a fair.. He was one of the carnies (a ride operator) and he travels with them all over the country, so he's never in one place for very long. I'll find out if I'll see him once the fairs come around again in July 2013. Yep, it's almost been one year since I've seen him. B is the opposite of what I thought I wanted.. He has tattoos, he smokes, he's not a virgin, he has a son, he's been married once, he's 30, he does not wear glasses (lol), but he was the sweetest thing that ever could be. I think about him every single day, when I have a pen and paper my hands are always writing out his name in various little doodles..
What do you do when you know who the love of your life is but, you have no clue where to find him?
-K
1. A - A is all of that minus the tattoos.. as of March 21st 2013 we've been together for 2 years. For about a year and a half he was what I wanted and I was happy with it.. but lately he's just not what I want anymore, he hasn't changed one bit.. but maybe I have, and I can't get up the courage to tell him how I feel. We are a long distance relationship.. We saw each other for the first time in December 2012 for two weeks. He was very excited and happy. As for me, when I got off the plane and saw him I didn't feel what I expected to feel. I expected my heart to drop, to run up to him and squeeze him.. As one would do when you see the one you 'love' after almost 2 years.. but what did I feel? Not a thing.. What did I do? I walked slowly to him, gave him a hug and a small kiss. I feel bad for saying this but I honestly could not wait for that two weeks to be over and just go home...
2. B - B, oh B.. I met B in July of 2012 and he gave me the happiest 2 days of my life that I will never forget. I will probably never see him again sadly. I met him at a fair.. He was one of the carnies (a ride operator) and he travels with them all over the country, so he's never in one place for very long. I'll find out if I'll see him once the fairs come around again in July 2013. Yep, it's almost been one year since I've seen him. B is the opposite of what I thought I wanted.. He has tattoos, he smokes, he's not a virgin, he has a son, he's been married once, he's 30, he does not wear glasses (lol), but he was the sweetest thing that ever could be. I think about him every single day, when I have a pen and paper my hands are always writing out his name in various little doodles..
What do you do when you know who the love of your life is but, you have no clue where to find him?
-K
